Waiting Anxiety

At the beginning of last month, I printed out all 700 hundred pages of my novel upon request. If seeing the whole story in a thick stack of papers didn’t make me nervous enough, the idea of mailing it to my mentor did. When I first started writing my book after the seventh grade, never before did I imagine taking my writing to this level or even consider sending it out for a published author to give feedback on. Now that it’s actually happening, it’s a reality check for me in that I have to push myself. I need to keep committing myself to my work, flaws and all, especially in the face of any frustrations I may face.

It has been approximately three weeks since my mentor notified me that he received my book. At first, I could not tell if my predominant feeling was excited expectancy or nervous anticipation. But now that I have been waiting for a while, I’m actually surprisingly calm about the matter. All the fears I had before have settled down, though not fully dissipated. I think I’m starting to come to the point where I can enter the editing process with an open mind and have a mindset that accepts feedback for what it is. As a developing writer, I can’t live in fear of other’s reading my work or even of what they have to say once they’ve read it. It’s going to take some courage and getting used to, but I think the process of waiting has allowed me to prepare myself for receiving the first advice my mentor will give me.

Nonetheless, I’m anxious to hear what he has to say and I’m ready to get started!

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